Happy Birthday, Sweet Taylor

For those of you with your heads buried in the sand (ala an ostrich) let me be the first to remind you that a certain delicious man-boy turns 18 tomorrow.

Legal. He he he.

That "he he he" was meant to conjure the sinister laugh of a wanton caged 'cougar' pacing, waiting to launch and devour such young succulent meat.

But in all honesty, I jest. Yes, it's true that Taylor Lautner is now almost 18 years old but that really means nothing untoward. Those of you who think like I do, and I'm sure there are tons of you out there, will find that it's barely a blip on your importance radar. It doesn't matter at all how old Taylor is. Because it's not Taylor we love and fawn over. It's Jacob Black, the literary character. Taylor is merely a conduit through which we can realize one interpretation of Jacob. Because we love those characters, it's easy to get caught up in the hype of Twilight star mania. 

Twilight Mom Inspirational Poster (grr!) Men do ogle 17 year old girls. How many men do you know who don't fantasize about high school cheerleaders? Please.

Its true, Taylor is a beautiful boy man now. May we all pause for a moment to appreciate him for the man fantasy he is. We can do it if we want to, because that's how fantasies work. I just felt the urge to clarify because some people out there would misinterpret our affectionate ardor (read: think we are perverted older women for ogling that fresh tender man flesh) when there is a perfectly sensible explanation. Let our critics not forget, Jacob isn't a real person. In our minds it is Jacob we love, not Taylor (although we may appreciate him for his inspired portrayal of Jacob) and also in our minds, we are that 16 year old counterpart, perfectly acceptable mate for young *fictional* Jacob.

So all our opponents should just take a pill and relax. The Twilight Saga mania surely can't last forever. Some day all too soon the  Twilight hysteria will be over and we'll be back to our mundane lives. The joy of living in this moment will be a dim memory. Those who find it so distasteful to see middle age moms screaming outside Twilight venues when Taylor or Rob walk by should keep that in mind. Let ye who is without sin cast the first stone! Come on, let us have this one!