Bella cheated on Edward!

I know, I know, I'm late to the party on blogging about the tacky, stupid behavior of Kristen Stewart.

I will call her tacky because it's just ridiculously embarrassing the way she cavorted with a much older, married man with a family. Just, wow.

And I call her stupid because, um, she was shacking up with Rob Pattinson, man-fodder of so many female fantasies. She HAD that, you know? So, yeah, stupid.

I won't call her a slut though, as many others have described her, because I believe in free will, man. She did what she did. It was stupid and tacky sure, but sluttiness is not a label I wish to brand someone with.

May her punishment be waking up to the truth of just how horribly she screwed up. She done peed in her chili.

If this were the world of Twilight though, her punishment might be a little harsher. Pre-Breaking Dawn punishment might go something like this:

*smootch* *smootch*

"Bella?" Edward says her name as a question.

Bella disentangles her limps and her tongue from a much older human man. "Edward! Oh, I didn't see you there. Um, this is Rupert. He is a friend of Charlie's. I was helping him ... with a contact lens. Move along, nothing to see here."

Edward stalks closer. "I call bullshit." Edward reads Rupert's mind. "Yeah, I thought so."

Edward drains Bella and Rupert like a couple of blood flavored Caprisuns.

FIN