More On Edward & Jacob

Am I any closer to solving my dilemma of who I love the most, Edward or Jacob?

Nope.

But I will tell you that all this introspection has really got me in touch with what drives my feelings. It's not like it's a new thing for me, I pretty much set around thinking all the time, :D I'm an introverted kind of gal. I guess that's why you are reading this now. I formulate thoughts on something and it feels like it might bubble over if I don't get it out. Hence, blogging.

So anyway, back to Jacob and Edward. I'm reading Eclipse now and all this closeness between Edward and Bella is like a fix to a junkie. I can't get enough of it. And yet, when I put the book down to do annoyingly unavoidable stuff like, GO TO WORK, I find my mind drifting to Jacob.

Funny, isn't it? The story of Bella and Edward is what drives us all to turn those pages with vampire quick reflexes. Jacob's character may be considered by some readers as just a means to add friction and conflict to the story. But to me, he's that warm and fuzzy thing (literally) in the story that worms his way into my heart. His character, more so than any other besides Bella perhaps, grows (again, literally) and becomes more than what he starts out as. He's very human in that.

Through trial and triumph, his character develops. But he is always true to himself and looks at life through the eyes of an optimist. The light of his infectious happiness is addictive itself. Bella refers to Jacob as her own personal sun and I think that's an apt description of him. He has an undeniable pull for anyone lucky enough to be close to him, as any celestial body should. And I think that is one reason Jacob always nudges Edward out in my daydreams. I'm drawn in by his light, endearing, happy contentedness no matter how much my X chromosomes may demand that I yearn for the dark, complicated, brooding one.

These are all qualities that a real person could have. And even though he is no less fictitious than Edward, there is something inherently attainable about Jacob.

He may be a werewolf but his love is within the realm of believability. Edward's love is perfect and unerring. Edward's love is like him, to good to be true. Too good to even pretend to be true. And in that perfection lies the crux. His love is flawed in it's very nature. I find it hard to wrap my brain around such total consuming devotion. To my fantasizing mind, it's not even plausible to imagine such a love for myself. Because although I may be able to imagine a vampire or werewolf lover, I just can't seem to trick my head into believing anyone, human or otherwise, could honestly express feelings like Edward has for Bella.

Maybe that says more about me than it does about the love itself. Maybe it's a sign of some inner self deprecating notion. Maybe it's a sign of self contempt. ...I think I like me. I think it's more to do with my lack of ever finding what I've been looking for. I've had relationships. But I've never experienced any relationship that complimented or completed me in the fashion that Edward and Bella's love completes them.

And I know now that that has something to do with why I get so emotionally involved with the books. And why I feel so destitute every time I finish reading them. I am elated while reading. My mind pushes to the side the fact that I yearn for that kind of love and will never find it. Instead I focus on enjoying my voyeuristic view into this most coveted of fictional lives. I stave off the heartache of reality until the end, when I have no choice but to evaluate my own life in comparison, whether I want to or not. It just sort of happens.

Freshly after reading the saga, it's painfully obvious that I feel like something is missing. Not in a panicky kind of way either. In the sense that although I am totally content, I know that my experiences would be heightened if I had that perfect of soul mates to share each day with. I may step onto the porch to enjoy a beautiful moonlit night, or wonder at the invigorating electricity of a rainy day. No matter what, all things would be better if I could share it with an Edward, or especially a Jacob.

That's all the insight (ha ha) I have for right now. But be warned, my emotions run the gamut every other minute and I'm always on the precipice of an epiphany. So tomorrow's post may contradict this one completely.

Until next time, dream on fellow Twilighters.

The Volturi and Other Thoughts

I admit it, Taylor is going to be a hot Jacob. So there! It's out there! Now, on to other meandering musings...

The New Moon release date is fastly approaching. Before we know it, the day will be upon us! My only concern is that all us die hard Twi-hards are then going to be without a tether of hope and anticipation to hold on to. Right now, just like most of last fall, we have a goal to focus on. We are happily waiting for that day when we will be out in droves to see the next movie adaptation in the saga.

I really hope, that when New Moon opens, we hear that they are immediately rolling right into filming for Eclipse. That way, we can all reset our odometers (so to speak) and again have something to cling to.

Scratch that last paragraph, I just read that the Eclipse start date for shooting will actually overlap New Moon's. Because of this, Chris Weitz will not direct Eclipse as production won't be finished soon enough on New Moon to allow him to direct the next in the saga. So, as in the style of the Harry Potter franchise, we'll see a separate director for each Twilight flick, at least on the 1st three. Who even knows if Breaking Dawn will ever make it to the silver screen. I read a quote by Stephenie Meyer herself that said it would be very difficult to customize Breaking Dawn for the screen, and therefore pretty unlikely that it'll occur at all.

So, one good thing about the rush to get the movies made is that Chris Weitz won't be directing. The down side though is that continuity and the feel of the movies may not jive. You know, with three different directors bringing to life three different visions, it could feel like a patchwork story of sorts.

I really hope Chris Weitz does the book justice. To me, New Moon's movie adaptation is just as important as Twilight's because this contains the definitive description of the werewolves and more importantly, the Volturi. So, how ever Weitz envisions the werewolves look, transitions and behaviors AND the look, feel and ambiance surrounding the Volturri is going to be the blue print for future movies. So, he'd better get that all very right. The next director for Eclipse will basically be forced to stick to Weitz's interpretation or else it will be confusing changing such memorable elements from New Moon. An example of what I mean is that if Weitz were to poorly cast the parts for the Volturi and the next director realizes this and tries to compensate by recasting, that would sorely screw up continuity and certainly annoy fans. Hopefully Weitz will not make such mistakes.

I mentioned that because it is seriously important to me that he get the Volturi right. I never envisioned the perfect actors to cast for the parts. But I do have specific feelings attached to those characters. For instance, when the Volturi first comes onto screen, this should have a profound effect on the audience. It should be both a terrifying and beautiful moment. As a viewer, I want not to be able to tear my eyes away from them but at the same time feel compelled to look away, like at the scene of a crime. It should instantly send chills down my spine. I want the entrance to be so glorious that I don't know where to put my eyes first. There should be thought put into every detail, down to the shoes on there feet, if they are wearing shoes. Clothing wise, Guillermo Del Toro's brand of fantasy/hellish attire comes to mind. The immaculate wardrobe worn by characters in Pans Labyrinth and Hellboy 2: The Golden Army seem right for Aro, Caius and Marcus.

I want to see piping and brocade and ancient, delicate fabrics. I want them to look as though they've been entombed and might fall to ash at any moment. The Volturi's appearance should belie the strength that is hidden by their false frailty. Scary and alluring.

For others vampires in the Volturi camp, I'd like to see a personal style for each character. They shouldn't all match, as a group. The three leaders should share a certain fashion, as they have traveled down through time together. You know how interesting it is to look at a band of gypsies, (in the movies at least, I've never actually seen a real band of gypsies unfortunately) so many shiny baubles and clamouring buttons? That's how I see the Volturi. As other vamps are acquired to serve the Volturi, the look should become a pot pouri of flavors.

If Chris Weitz can do that, then he can pull off the rest of the movie with ease. Now, about those werewolves... Don't get me started...